At one point I told Ben that I would “teach the thermostat a lesson it wouldn’t forget” and then I punched it several times
I woke up in the middle of the living room floor, half naked and covered in something sticky that I hoped was spilled wine. I had very little recollection of the previous two days, but my house was a wreck and I vaguely recalled throwing a party for a few friends. After the third round of drinks and the second cannabis blunt, everything got really hazy. The next thing I know it’s two days later, I’m as dehydrated and hung over as I’ve ever been, and I’m laying on a pile of broken plastic pieces. I quickly discovered these plastic pieces were the housing for my smart thermostat, which had been ripped off the wall and smashed. Had I done that to my own thermostat, and if so, why had I done it? I called my friend Ben, who I seem to recall came by to visit at some point, and asked if he knew what happened to my thermostat. Ben started laughing, because he couldn’t believe I didn’t remember what had happened! Apparently I started giving voice commands to the thermostat, and then got angry when it didn’t respond. This is a smart thermostat, but it has never had the functionality of using voice commands, so I don’t know why I did that. At one point I told Ben that I would “teach the thermostat a lesson it wouldn’t forget” and then I punched it several times. Now I need to find the money for a new thermostat, and get a professional out here to repair the damage to my wall.